The Light of my life
by frukforever
Summary: There is yet another feast in Asgard, where the warriors and gods all celebrate Thor and his success in whatever battle he has been in. Only one god, the god of mischief, remains in his own chamber, jealous and longing for the love of a person he can never get. Thor/Loki slash


The dark-haired god was standing on the balcony, a rather gloomy look on his face as he listened to the sounds of the feast. It was a rather beautiful night, and warm, of course. The feast was held outside for that reason, and also because it minimalized the amount of damage that the palace was going to face because of this. After all, the warriors were known to be quite rough and wild whenever those strong men got drunk.

Loki, in the eyes of Asgardians, was not a warrior. His spell casting and magic was frowned upon in here, where strenght and the art of combat were the only things that were respected. Well, and the beauty of women of course, Loki noticed, as he once again saw two women eagerly leaning onto the sides of his brother, smothering him with kisses and touches.

In Midgard that kind of that kind of display of affection would have been inappropriate, but here, the other warriors only cheered as the women swarmed around the god of thunder, each of them wanting him to bed them that night.

"Thor, my son, over and over again you keep making us proud! With no doubt you are the greatest warrior Asgard has ever seen, and the future will be bright when you shall rule this world with all the skill you have!"

Of course, Odin was more than eager to praise his son, the whole crowd of people cheering and shouting, raising their drinks and calling the golden god's name, praising him. They all loved Thor, it was obvious, they all adored him.

Had Loki ever gotten that kind of attention from anyone? No, he was left in the shadows, no one even noticing that he was not participating this feast. He was nothing more than the son that was no use, the son that everyone wanted to just forget. A disgrace to the family. Sure, he could speak and the spells he was able to cast were marvelous, but when he was not able to slay a giant with only his fist, there was no need to celebrate his talents.

"Father dear, I would not have been able to do it all myself! You shall also thank my friends, they were there by my side, fighting bravely!"

And here the thunderer went again with his modesty, only winning more people by his side, making all of them love him even more.

"All hail to the future king!"

Another round of cheers, shouts and yells. Wine was flowing and laughter rang everywhere. Loki couldn't help but curse underneath his breath, slamming hsi fist against the railing of the balcony, but that drew no attention from the loud bunch of Asgardians, all of them too busy talking about the greatness of Thor.

A sigh leaving his lips, the god of mischief walked back into his chamber, waving his hand lightly and muttering a few quiet words. Just like that, Thor appeared into his room. Of course it was not the real god of thunder, only a production of his magic.

"If only you would know, brother, how much I envy you", the trickster said, stepping closer to the illusion of his older brother, placing a hand on his chest, the chest that was only covered with a thin shirt. Illusion or not, the muscles of the god's chest were hard against his hand, and he couldn't help but trail his slender fingers lower, letting them trace the lines of the muscles of his abdomen.

"And how much more I envy the women who get to be all around you all the time."

There was a knock on the door, and without even waiting for the trickester's call to come in, Thor stepped into the room. Loki thanked gods (ironic, wasn't it) for his quick reflexs as he waved his hand, and the illusion of the thundered was gone.

"And what would you, my dearest brother, need? In case you are too drunk to even realize where you are going, be nice and take your maidens into your own chamber", Loki stated with a calm voice, hands placed on his hips as he glanced at the older male, who simply gave him a laughter.

"I do not wish to bed any maidens tonight, brother, not in my or yours chamber. I only came to ask why you are not feasting with us? It must get boring to only sulk here alone when the rest of us are having a good time."

Loki glared at his brother ligthly, tough soon got his expression back into the calm, neutral one he usually wore on his pale face. "First of all, I am not sulking. Even though I do not enjoy those loud and rather brutal events you call feasts, it does not mean that I am here mourning", the god stated, arms now crossed over his chest. "And secondly, I am very sorry to hear that your already so giant ego is not bursted enough if I am not there, but I also do not wish to come down there and cheer at you with the others."

Thor looked a bit confused as he answered. "I am not asking you to come and cheer for me, there is no reason to do so. I simply want you to join us and have some fun."

Loki laughed at that, a touch of bitterness in his laughter, a half-smirk staying on his lips even after the laughter died out. "When Asgard one day has a feast to only have fun, I am more than happy to come and join your bunch of loud-mouthed warriors."

"What are you talking about, brother?" asked the golden-haired god, who didn't really seem to be following what the smaller god was trying to tell him.

"The feasts are always about you, Thor. They are not held so that the Asgardians would have fun and enjoy their drunken states together, no. They are always about you, about something you have done, about something you will do. Everyone else is in the shadow when there is a feast. You are there in the center of the attention, people cheering for you. And you come here to ask why I am not joining you and the others?"

Loki walked closer to the other as he spoke, his neat eyebrows furrowed only slightly, creating a small crease between them. "Every single day I hear about how great and oh-so-loved by Asgardians you are. I do not need to attend a feast to hear it once again from every single person in here. I do not wish to be reminded over and over again how I am only a mere shadow of what you are, and how I will not ever be able to be what you have become. How I will never make my parents proud."

To be honest, Thor was taken aback by the other one's words. Loki spoke with such feelings, such bitterness and pain hidden behind those words that were told with the same calm tone the other always used. It was difficult to believe just how many supressed feelings there had to be behind the calm and cold exterior of his younger brother.

"Loki...", Thor muttered quietly, reaching his calloused hand, gently touching the side of Loki's face before he pulled the younger god into a hug. The raven-haired man protested for a while, struggling, but then just relaxed into the arms of his brother, though he refused to hug him back.

"I did not know you felt that way. But I can assure you, our parents are doing their best to love you like you were their own blood, and the whole Asgard is doing its best as well. Trust me, brother, you are not only a shadow. For me, you are the light", Thor told him, his voice a bit quieter than usually, still as deep and rumbling.

Loki felt a strange feeling inside his heart, a spark of hope it might have been. But then, he pulled away from the hug, turning his back to the other man.

"You must be blind. The people of Asgard will not ever trust me, no matter what I do. They think that I will betray the whole world when only I will get a chance to do so. Odin will not ever love me as a son, Thor, he despises me. He only wishes me to stay away from your way."

"Now don't be ridiculous, brother. Father does love you. Mother loves you like she would love a real son, and I love you."

"I am not your brother, Thor! I am not your blood, and I do not share the same parents with you. It is needless for you to act like we were brothers. Yes, I know, you are working so hard to make me feel like I was a part of the family, like I wasn't different, but there is no need to do so. I know what I am, and I also know I will not be a part of the family. Not now, and not ever!"

"Loki, please, listen to me. I do realize that we are not the same blood and that you are not a true Asgardian, but it does not mean that I could not love you", Thor said, his large hand gently running down Loki's black hair, his fingers admiring how soft his locks were. Much to the larder god's delight, he managed to get the younger one to shudder.

"Thor... What did I just say, no need to play brothers."

"No, Loki. What I feel towards you is far from brotherly love." At that, Thor wrapped his arms around Loki from behind, pulling the cold-skinned god against hsi chest, holding him close.

"Now this got interesting. The oh so perfect son and the oh so loved future king is in love with the man he has been calling brother for countless of years", Loki could not help but teach his brother who only gruned at this. The god of mischief tilted his head back to rest it on the other one's shoulder, his slender fingers reaching up to gently touch his beaded jawline.

"I cannot help but wonder what Odin would say if he heard about this... I can almost imagine him yelling at you how you are the disgrace of the family", Loki said, a grin appearing onto his lips. Thor seemed to wince a bit at the other's words, his blonde eyebrows knitting together. "You would not dare to tell him."

For a moment there was a rather evil grin on the on the younger one's lips, until he turned around, his breath deliciously close to the other man's lips, his hands on his shoulders. "I would dare, do not doubt that. But I am not willing to let Odin take you away from me", the dark-haired man whispered, pressing his thin, cold lips against the other god's warm but dry ones.

Thor was eager to return the kiss, his normally so rough hands gentle as he held the other close to him.

"No matter what, Loki, you are not disgrace. Nor are you a shadow. You will always be the sun of my life", he whispered quietly into the kiss, his eyes falling closed as he drew the love of his life closer to him.


End file.
